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Sunday, September 7th, 2003
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10:22 pm - Help me...please...
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I have no powers. I am completely and utterly helpless, confused, and alone. So much time has gone by and I feel myself growing smaller--physically and mentally.
Now I know how my friends felt every single time they were held hostage and it was up to me to save them. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm now a normal person.
I can't say that I don't miss being the slayer, especially considering the circumstances. But Xander is going to have a lot to deal with. He has the fate of the world in his hands now & the slightest mistake could end it. I guess it's lucky that there's no big apocalypse...
I miss Xander so much. Thinking about him makes me cry. So I try not to think about him too much because I don't want Angelus to see me cry. Poor Dawnie. She lost Mom and now she'll be losing me. I don't think I'll make it out of here. That's a horrible thing to think, but if they haven't found me by now, I doubt they will.
Tonight I tried to communicate with Willow through telepathy. I figured it was worth a shot. I sat there, thinking of nothing else but getting through to her. Help me, Will, please help me!
Just as I was in the middle of my thought, Angelus burst into the chamber he was keeping me in.
"How is my favorite little prisoner today?" His smile was wide and intimidating.
"Go to Hell," I said through gritted teeth.
He laughed maniacally. "Been there, done that!" He knelt down in front of me and sniffed. "I smell fear...and doubt. You don't think you'll get out of here, do you?"
I didn't say anything for a minute or so. Then, very timidly, I whispered, "What do you want with me?"
"I want to make you suffer. Kind of like how you made me suffer all these years; I was full of angst and just...being a loser!"
My voice got a little louder. "Why won't you just kill me already?"
His face softened. "Awww! Because you're cute when you're miserable!" His took out a long knife and lightly traced down my bare arm, not quite cutting. "Besides, I kinda like having someone else around to talk to. You know...I was thinking...maybe I could turn you and then we could have a hell of a time together. We'd paint this town red...literally!"
"I'd rather die than spend eternity being your bumpy-faced whore!"
"Well, you don't get to decide that! I do!" He made a small cut with the knife on my shoulder. I winced in pain; I'm still not used to feeling this much pain.
Blood began to surface on the skin and Angelus' eyes lit up. He leaned in and lapped it up. I shuddered in disgust and tried to move away, but his hands wrapped tight around my arms.
He came up for air and breathed, "Your blood is so addicting!"
Despite all my desperate attempts, I started to sob. This made him more determined; he pulled my head to the side and sank his fangs into my skin. All I could see were stars as he began to drink my blood.
"Nooooooo!!!!" I let out the most blood-curdling scream. "Please no! Angel, don't do this!"
He immediately took his face away from my neck and slapped me. "My name isn't Angel!"
I wailed louder. "Why are you doing this to me? I loved you! I would have done anything for you and I did! I know you're in there, Angel! Please, don't do this to me!"
Angelus looked so confused and bewildered, almost like he was ready to cry. He stood in front of me for what seemed like forever, just looking at me. I just sobbed and pleaded.
Then, he turned around to walk out and calmly said over his shoulder, "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow."
current mood:  drained
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